What is Relational Self-Care and How to Navigate It?

Written By Karista

How do you navigate self-care while in a relationship?  What is relational self-care?  How do you balance the give and take of self-care in relationships?  


In episode 39 of Love Always, Self, Shyra & Karista discuss understanding and navigating a new perspective of self-care and how to balance the give and take between you and any relationship; lover, family member, or friend.  In this episode, we discuss an article from Psychology Today, “There is No Such Thing as Self-Care in Relationships” (linked below). 


Self-care, in any relationship, requires both giving and taking. When you are needing to take time for yourself, the other person is supporting you in this by giving you time and space to care for yourself.  


“One’s taking is another’s giving” - Psychology Today 


Did you feel any resistance with that quote?  Note the resistance you feel to this statement.  Is this resistance coming from a win-lose mindset, where only one person’s needs can be met and the other must go without?  Zoom out and open yourself to a new perspective, a win-win mindset, where both people can feel supported. 


“It’s looking at both people’s needs and how we can support each other in meeting those needs and creating space for that in the relationship.” - Karista


In almost every aspect of living there are aspects of give and take.  It’s about learning how to be flexible for yourself and for your partner and finding a balance between the give and take so everyone feels seen, heard, supported, and loved.  


For some people, we have a tendency to be overly considerate, placing greater importance or prioritizing other people’s needs over our own.  We are not encouraging you to stop considering others, but rather learning to find a balance between being considerate of others and considering yourself.  


“Oftentimes, we don’t find what it is that’s best for our self-care, until we’ve reached a breaking point to need that self-care.”  - Shyra


When it comes to being a caregiver, working in customer care or a care-giving field, it is just as important to care for yourself so you can maintain your life force energy.  Without this time for ourselves, as caregivers, the need to provide self-care will intensify and can become overwhelming, creating more irritability and stress within ourselves. And while there will be times it is necessary to set our needs aside for someone else, it is just important to find ways to prioritize your body and mental health needs.  



Her are some steps that you can take to practice co-creating a balance of give and take in any relationship:


  1. REFLECT on what your needs are. What are some areas that need more attention?  What ways do you enjoy giving self-care to yourself?  How often do you feel you need this space? What are signs to you that you are lacking or needing self-care?  

  2. COMMUNICATE openly and honestly, and from a heart-centered space.  Share why you want or need to do this, how it will make you feel, and therefore, how this will impact you in the relationship.  Acknowledge the need for give and take from both parties for everyone to feel their needs are met.

  3. LISTEN.  Be open to receiving feedback and working together to find a compromise or a solution where both parties feel supported.  Be prepared for resistance, as some people may feel threatened.  Listen to their concerns and provide reassurance that this is for the benefit and support of both people, and is not a move to take something from them.  Part of our responsibility is to recognize that the other person may need to care for themselves in a different way than you may need to care for yourself.

  4. RECIPROCATE willingness to balance the give and take.  Give your partner the same respect to be able to reflect and communicate their own needs.  Show them you support them through proactive action.


“This doesn’t have to be a win-lose situation; this can absolutely be in a win-win situation.” 

- Karista


Viewing self-care as a relational co-creation will increase mutual support of each other's mental and emotional well-being. Don’t wait until you’re feeling low or close to a breaking point, as this increases the risk of poor communication, coming from a place of lack and irritability, and feeling defensive and reactive.  Be proactive, for yourself and those around you!  It will feel much better to address this before you become severely depleted. 


“In the pursuit of happiness, one finds themselves looking backwards as to how they get to the future vs looking at the very NOW moment.  Just start to create, create one moment and then the next moment, focus your intentions on what it is you wish to create because that is all that there ever is.  The now.  Only the human mind wishes to look back.  We call that memories, which is what your body creates and stores.  Your consciousness is only ever creating the now, drawing in lessons and teachings of every NOW moment.” - MT GLASS (2/5/22 at 11:44a)


:

Article: 

Psychology Today Article: There is No Such Thing As Self-Care in Relationships 

:

Related Episode Suggestions:

:

Social Media: 

Website - https://www.lovealwaysself.com/

Linktree - https://linktr.ee/lovealwaysself

Have a topic you'd like us to discuss? Email Us!: contact@lovealwaysself.com

 :

#lovealwaysselfpodcast #lovealwaysself #selfcare #relationalselfcare #communication #teamwork #giveandtake #proactiveselfcare #connectinghearts #supporteachother #relationshipgoals #relationshipadvice #relationshiptips #connectinghappiness #reflections #shiftingperspectives #cocreate

Karista
Previous

Connecting With Self By Connecting With Friends
Next

Finding a Balance Between the Spiritual and the Physical